Slivvi’s Story
To be honest, it was just a regular school day that this happened. Nothing special. I hadn’t had time to do laundry before that day, so I had some tight-fitted clothing for the day. I don’t know if this is what triggered my attacker, but I know that my clothing is what people blame it on. I was walking to my third-period class, theatre. Next thing I know out of nowhere a guy taller and, presumably from the colour of his school tag (green, which meant the grade above me), older shoved me into the girl’s restroom and pinned me against the wall in a stall. He then broke the zipper to my jeans, and honestly, jeans that meant a lot because they were my mother’s hand-me-down jeans (I love my mom’s jeans, they’re old but quality and comfortable.). The button also slightly loosened from one of the threads holding it. He then proceeded to “do the deed”, as they say, with his fingers. I fought him off eventually when he’d stood back to, and I’m assuming this from the smirk on his face, admire the pain he’d just put me through. It hurt me physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. That pain was all over my face but I ended up kicking him where it hurt and speed walking to the school cop that was close by. She led me to the eighth-grade admin, who proceeded to tell me they were out of report forms where I could write down what just happened to me, and she’d call me to the office when more were printed out.
A couple of weeks passed and school closed down due to COVID-19. I didn’t want to tell my mom, I was scared she’d ignore it too. I didn’t tell anyone for that matter. I felt ignored, and abandoned. Eventually, this pushed me to attempt suicide. I did fail and eventually came out to my mom about being raped. We told my school but here’s what happened: I mistook his long-sleeved dark shirt for his skin tone. I corrected myself in two seconds and told them he’s a white male. They ignored it. They claimed they would check the cameras to find him — keep in mind there was a camera in the hall where I got shoved into the restroom. A little bit later they told my mother and I that they didn’t see anything of the sort. They didn’t even get the cops involved. This system has failed me. I was also bullied all my years in this school and I was never protected. This is a white-dominant school that protects its white students and ignores students of colour, especially my colour where I am neither white nor black, specifically brown or darkskin. I am a lightskin woman, a darker tan, but not brown. They are especially racist against me, especially my administrators (except one African-American female administrator whose name I will not share for security reasons). It was passed as assault. I later found out I was raped, even though he only (“only”, as if this invalidates me) used his fingers. I’m not only a victim of rape, but racism and a failed “justice system”. Not because the police didn’t do anything, but because my school never did anything in the first place. The fact that they even passed over it because I thought it was assault, is horrible. Assault, rape, harassment, they’re all really fucking terrible and it’s sad that because “it’s not rape”, it’s pushed under the carpet. The school and justice systems are flawed to Hell, I needed help once and I was ignored and abandoned.
