Mary’s Story

I was a senior in college completing my internship in Florida when I was assaulted. One night while I was out with my housemates, my roommate and I met some guys that bought us drinks and danced with us all night. The guy that was most interested in me kept trying to feel me up and forced me to grind on him after I had asked him to stop multiple times. I finally got away from him and started walking back to our house. I was drunk and possibly drugged so I had no idea he was following me. I was almost home when he pushed me against a building and forced himself on me. I forget most details of what happened after that and how I managed to get home after everything happened. 

After that night, my mood and attitude towards everything changed. I left my internship early and dropped out of college with 12 credits left to graduate. 

I was in a relationship with my ex for about 5 years when I moved to Florida for my internship in 2016. We fought constantly while I was away because he hated that I went out every weekend and I lived in a house with other guys. Because of our previous arguments, I was convinced that if I told him, he would blame me and make me feel even worse about my assault. When I moved home, I hated having sex and couldn’t find the words or courage to tell my then-boyfriend what had happened. He didn’t understand or care and he forced me to have sex with him over and over, making me relive my attack in Florida every time.

I didn’t tell anyone about my assault until 2019 when I was tailgating with my current partner. I didn’t plan on telling him, it just came out. I think I had repressed all of those emotions and memories until I found someone that I was so comfortable with and was able to be my true self around. Since telling him, he’s helped me understand and accept that it wasn’t my fault. 

I’ve been more open and have been trying to do better for myself and for my community of survivors. I hope that anyone reading this knows that you don’t have to be ashamed. You don’t have to keep it to yourself and you can find people that will believe you and will help you. It wasn’t your fault!